beyondtheselenses asked: I'm in need of some guidance, Lazy Yogi. I want to no longer be so cruel to myself and only grow stronger. I want to get to know myself better and fall in love with who I am. For years I have put myself down and told myself and others how unworthy I am as a being. I've let myself believe I have no worth in living and although some days are better then most, the bad days are so low it's hard to look in the mirror and appreciate myself. I just want to fall in love with myself in all that I am.
You are not found in a mirror, sister. You are not found in your thoughts about yourself nor your judgments. Stop telling yourself who you are—you don’t know. If you knew who you truly were, you would be at peace. So find out.
You are more beautiful than the body can reflect. You are more brilliant than the mind can grasp. You are more wondrous than any transient emotion. Don’t trust any of those things to tell you who you are.
“The most difficult times for many of us are the ones we give ourselves.” ~ Pema Chodron
Who would you be without this story of worthiness and cruelty? You would be free. True freedom is not different from Love and Happiness. They come together as One.
Many of us in western society have a habit of objectifying our own identity and then creating a relationship with that identity. However, like any relationship, it wont work out because you haven’t actually gotten to know the living being to whom you have assigned an identity.
When you judge yourself harshly, who is doing the judging? What is being judged? If it were true, how could it ever change? If it isn’t true, then what could possibly need to be changed?
Whether you are cruel to yourself or appreciating yourself, you are still avoiding the central issue: Who is that self? Not in terms of personality, likes, dislikes, talents, hobbies, and preferences, but as a Living Existence.
So long as you have this kind of relationship with the idea you have of yourself, then it is best to extend yourself some kindness and compassion.
"If your compassion does not include yourself then it is incomplete." ~ Jack Kornfield
Make love and compassion a way of life.
All bodies and identities are in a process of coming together and falling apart. Don’t build your castle of love and happiness on those shifting sands.
Another way of looking at it is this: You are God’s creation. You didn’t ask to be born, you didn’t design your body, you didn’t assemble your mind and senses. All of it just happened.
Who are you to judge it? Who are you to understand it? You didn’t begin with the body and you do not end with the body.
There is nothing wrong with aspiring to love who you are, but it is not enough. You must go further than that and realize that you are Love itself. Only then will you be free from this form of suffering. And you can be! Because you are nothing other than Love.
“Nobody is superior, nobody is inferior, but nobody is equal either. People are simply unique, incomparable. You are you, I am I. I have to contribute my potential to life; you have to contribute your potential to life. I have to discover my own being; you have to discover your own being.” ~ Osho
I would recommend taking up a daily meditation and tonglen practice, both of which you can read about on the meditation page of my blog. I’d also suggest any books written by Jack Kornfield, Pema Chodron, The Dalai Lama, and Eckhart Tolle.
We must heal ourselves. There is no other option if humanity is to survive. Let this be your contribution.
Namaste sis :) Much love.